I'M A LOVER OF G A P S

During the Easter hols I was fortunate to be asked to run some workshops at the Into Christ Consciousness gathering at Findhorn. I thoroughly enjoyed running the workshops; I also loved being present for many of the other sessions during the gathering. And what interested me was that what occurred outside of any of the official sessions and workshops seemed as valuable - if not more so - than what ocurred inside them. The after-session hanging out with friends and contributors, the sharing, musing, walking, celebrating that occurred unoffically was as profound as what occurred officially. And it happened in the gaps between events.

A similar thing happened a couple of weekends ago at the Solas Festival. I loved the music, the talks, the debating, the soul space workshops and running workshops. And what I loved even more was what happened in the gaps between them, when I found myself talking to someone I'd never met before over a meal; or when someone introduced themselves to me and shared something with me; or when someone came with a question; or they hadn't been able to come to my workshop, so we did a mini-version over coffee!

So I'm re-evaluating how I value the things I do. The 'official' things are valuable.....but they are not more valuable than the 'unofficial' things that occur in the gaps.

It's the same with my own life. It's so easy to put a huge value on the 'doing' of things, and less on the gaps of 'being'. One of my current aims is to consciously create and value my own gaps, those times when I don't plan anything, when I choose to sit in silence, when I allow something else of, maybe, even greater value, to come into my life.

I'm becoming a lover of gaps.......

Happiness and the Little Pleasures

I've just come back from a glorious walk down to the creek. The sky has plenty of blue in it and there is actually warmth in the sunshine for the first time in a long time! The birds are singing enthusiastically and the boats bobbing and clinking cheerfully. My sense of pleasure and delight is huge!

Which got me thinking.....one of the reasons my pleasure is so great is that what I've experienced just now is something I haven't experienced for quite a while. During the summer, such experiences, though delightful, have a less-pronounced effect on my levels of happiness. Happiness, it seems, comes along when we experience a pleasure infrequently rather than frequently. And I gues everyone has an optimal distance between experiences that they can use to influence their levels of happiness.

During term time I really look forward to, savour and enjoy my Saturday morning Americano at one of Truro's excellent coffee houses. In the holidays I often have coffee out more frequently....and though enjoyable, the enjoyment isn't quite as acute as the Saturday-morning-in-term-time coffee.

At the end of January, having not drunk any alcohol during that month, I found that I didn't want to revert to the pattern of having a glass of wine most nights with supper, because the enjoyment wasn't nearly as significant as when I have a glass of wine occasionally at the weekend.

I experience far more pleasure from one, or sometimes two, squares of 85% chocolate, than I do from eating a whole bar.

So.....I'm going to be noticing the things that give me pleasure....and - without becoming too fanatical! - notice the optimum frequency of enjoyment.

New Year, New You?

I love New Year! I love the ending of the old and the beginning of the new. I love looking back on the previous year, taking stock of what I've done, where I'm at, and what has been happening in my wider life. And then the real excitement for me is looking forwards to the new year stretching ahead and making some choices about how I would like to play things this year, deciding what changes I would like to make and how I'm going to do that.

New Year reminds me of the time when I was getting better. I remember my partner saying to me that the biggest problem I would face in getting better was deciding what to do with my life. It was a lovely problem to have! Having had a severely restricted life for many years, and being bed-ridden for months, it felt as if 'I' didn't really exist at all, and I began the process of deciding who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I still cherish this experience and the opportunity to re-design my life and who 'I' am. New Year reminds me of this time, and the opportunity we have at whatever stage we are at in our lives to make changes. We have choices. As my partner reminded me on our creekside walk this afternoon, the past has gone; all that we have is the present. And in the present we have choices....

Tomorrow I'm taking myself off out West for my annual review and planning meeting with myself. I can't wait!