During the Easter hols I was fortunate to be asked to run some workshops at the Into Christ Consciousness gathering at Findhorn. I thoroughly enjoyed running the workshops; I also loved being present for many of the other sessions during the gathering. And what interested me was that what occurred outside of any of the official sessions and workshops seemed as valuable - if not more so - than what ocurred inside them. The after-session hanging out with friends and contributors, the sharing, musing, walking, celebrating that occurred unoffically was as profound as what occurred officially. And it happened in the gaps between events.
A similar thing happened a couple of weekends ago at the Solas Festival. I loved the music, the talks, the debating, the soul space workshops and running workshops. And what I loved even more was what happened in the gaps between them, when I found myself talking to someone I'd never met before over a meal; or when someone introduced themselves to me and shared something with me; or when someone came with a question; or they hadn't been able to come to my workshop, so we did a mini-version over coffee!
So I'm re-evaluating how I value the things I do. The 'official' things are valuable.....but they are not more valuable than the 'unofficial' things that occur in the gaps.
It's the same with my own life. It's so easy to put a huge value on the 'doing' of things, and less on the gaps of 'being'. One of my current aims is to consciously create and value my own gaps, those times when I don't plan anything, when I choose to sit in silence, when I allow something else of, maybe, even greater value, to come into my life.
I'm becoming a lover of gaps.......
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Happiness and the Little Pleasures
I've just come back from a glorious walk down to the creek. The sky has plenty of blue in it and there is actually warmth in the sunshine for the first time in a long time! The birds are singing enthusiastically and the boats bobbing and clinking cheerfully. My sense of pleasure and delight is huge!
Which got me thinking.....one of the reasons my pleasure is so great is that what I've experienced just now is something I haven't experienced for quite a while. During the summer, such experiences, though delightful, have a less-pronounced effect on my levels of happiness. Happiness, it seems, comes along when we experience a pleasure infrequently rather than frequently. And I gues everyone has an optimal distance between experiences that they can use to influence their levels of happiness.
During term time I really look forward to, savour and enjoy my Saturday morning Americano at one of Truro's excellent coffee houses. In the holidays I often have coffee out more frequently....and though enjoyable, the enjoyment isn't quite as acute as the Saturday-morning-in-term-time coffee.
At the end of January, having not drunk any alcohol during that month, I found that I didn't want to revert to the pattern of having a glass of wine most nights with supper, because the enjoyment wasn't nearly as significant as when I have a glass of wine occasionally at the weekend.
I experience far more pleasure from one, or sometimes two, squares of 85% chocolate, than I do from eating a whole bar.
So.....I'm going to be noticing the things that give me pleasure....and - without becoming too fanatical! - notice the optimum frequency of enjoyment.
Which got me thinking.....one of the reasons my pleasure is so great is that what I've experienced just now is something I haven't experienced for quite a while. During the summer, such experiences, though delightful, have a less-pronounced effect on my levels of happiness. Happiness, it seems, comes along when we experience a pleasure infrequently rather than frequently. And I gues everyone has an optimal distance between experiences that they can use to influence their levels of happiness.
During term time I really look forward to, savour and enjoy my Saturday morning Americano at one of Truro's excellent coffee houses. In the holidays I often have coffee out more frequently....and though enjoyable, the enjoyment isn't quite as acute as the Saturday-morning-in-term-time coffee.
At the end of January, having not drunk any alcohol during that month, I found that I didn't want to revert to the pattern of having a glass of wine most nights with supper, because the enjoyment wasn't nearly as significant as when I have a glass of wine occasionally at the weekend.
I experience far more pleasure from one, or sometimes two, squares of 85% chocolate, than I do from eating a whole bar.
So.....I'm going to be noticing the things that give me pleasure....and - without becoming too fanatical! - notice the optimum frequency of enjoyment.
Sunday, 1 January 2012
New Year, New You?
I love New Year! I love the ending of the old and the beginning of the new. I love looking back on the previous year, taking stock of what I've done, where I'm at, and what has been happening in my wider life. And then the real excitement for me is looking forwards to the new year stretching ahead and making some choices about how I would like to play things this year, deciding what changes I would like to make and how I'm going to do that.
New Year reminds me of the time when I was getting better. I remember my partner saying to me that the biggest problem I would face in getting better was deciding what to do with my life. It was a lovely problem to have! Having had a severely restricted life for many years, and being bed-ridden for months, it felt as if 'I' didn't really exist at all, and I began the process of deciding who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I still cherish this experience and the opportunity to re-design my life and who 'I' am. New Year reminds me of this time, and the opportunity we have at whatever stage we are at in our lives to make changes. We have choices. As my partner reminded me on our creekside walk this afternoon, the past has gone; all that we have is the present. And in the present we have choices....
Tomorrow I'm taking myself off out West for my annual review and planning meeting with myself. I can't wait!
New Year reminds me of the time when I was getting better. I remember my partner saying to me that the biggest problem I would face in getting better was deciding what to do with my life. It was a lovely problem to have! Having had a severely restricted life for many years, and being bed-ridden for months, it felt as if 'I' didn't really exist at all, and I began the process of deciding who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I still cherish this experience and the opportunity to re-design my life and who 'I' am. New Year reminds me of this time, and the opportunity we have at whatever stage we are at in our lives to make changes. We have choices. As my partner reminded me on our creekside walk this afternoon, the past has gone; all that we have is the present. And in the present we have choices....
Tomorrow I'm taking myself off out West for my annual review and planning meeting with myself. I can't wait!
Monday, 19 December 2011
Archetypes
When I was about half-way through my illness journey, I remember reading 'Sacred Contracts' by Caroline Myss. She presents a wide range of archetypes and we are invited to examine the way we are leading our own lives and to spot the archetypal patterns we are running. The archetypes she mentions include Priest, Poet, Martyr, Puppet, Prostitute and many more. One of the archetypes I felt particularly drawn to was 'Wounded Healer'. And one the huge frustrations of this time was that although I was wounded I definitely wasn't healing! Of course my definition of healing then was largely defined by phsyiological healing, as you might expect from someone in a wheelchair. Looking back I can see that the most important healing of the mind, spirit and emotions was taking place during those years of searching and journeying. Getting the physiological body back to health was the last piece of a complex jigsaw.
I have been reflecting on this archetype recently. Whilst I have learned to make enormous changes in many areas of my life - my partner sometimes says I am a 'completely different person' from the pre-ill me - there are parts of my life where I know there is still work to do. Occasionally I do nervousness. Part of me knows this behaviour belongs to a 'me' of a previous era and is outdated and unnecessary. But despite my tools, knowledge and understanding, I make slow progress in this one area. How fascinating! Though the truth is that I am more often than not infuriated than fascinated!
Working with this part of me I am learning to see it differently, to value it, and to learn from it. It is, in some sense, my membership badge to the group of people I work with. It is part of my identification with the wounded healer archetype. Wounded, I search for the healing, the learning. What brings me forward is also what enables me to help others.
So how do we respond to parts of ourselves that don't seem quite in line with how or what we want to be? As ever, I'm brought back to Love. Love and acceptance for these parts of me that aren't quite ready to be updated and move on. Gentleness and compassion for the parts of me that I know are doing their very best for me. Where does this take me? Out of 'me' and back into God/Love.
It's a rather appropriate time of year to be taken back into Love. 'Love came down at Christmas...'
Happy Christmas x
I have been reflecting on this archetype recently. Whilst I have learned to make enormous changes in many areas of my life - my partner sometimes says I am a 'completely different person' from the pre-ill me - there are parts of my life where I know there is still work to do. Occasionally I do nervousness. Part of me knows this behaviour belongs to a 'me' of a previous era and is outdated and unnecessary. But despite my tools, knowledge and understanding, I make slow progress in this one area. How fascinating! Though the truth is that I am more often than not infuriated than fascinated!
Working with this part of me I am learning to see it differently, to value it, and to learn from it. It is, in some sense, my membership badge to the group of people I work with. It is part of my identification with the wounded healer archetype. Wounded, I search for the healing, the learning. What brings me forward is also what enables me to help others.
So how do we respond to parts of ourselves that don't seem quite in line with how or what we want to be? As ever, I'm brought back to Love. Love and acceptance for these parts of me that aren't quite ready to be updated and move on. Gentleness and compassion for the parts of me that I know are doing their very best for me. Where does this take me? Out of 'me' and back into God/Love.
It's a rather appropriate time of year to be taken back into Love. 'Love came down at Christmas...'
Happy Christmas x
Friday, 9 December 2011
The BIG Picture
I've had a couple of weeks of interesting reading and experiences. Sometimes I experience things, then find a context or paradigm in which to understand them, and sometimes I have a cognitive understanding of something but the experience comes later. Recent influences have been The Wisdom Jesus by Cynthia Bourgeault, Laurel Mellin's The Pathway, Genpo Roshi's Big Mind and the funeral of a close friend.
I've been musing in the past few weeks about the different ways of 'being' in the world. It seems I have two options for the way I operate. The first way is to operate from a point where 'I' am the starting point, and my 'story', my 'perspective', my 'beliefs' become paramount, and consequently define my feelings and actions. For example, if someone shouts at me I can respond by thinking something along the lines of: 'How dare you shout at me? What have I done? I don't deserve to be shouted at?' And so on. William Blake expresses the consequences of this approach neatly in his poem 'Poison Tree'.
The point to note about this is that 'I' and 'Me' take centre stage'; it is about the preservation - at all costs - of ego.
The other way is interesting, and in some senses counter-intuitive. It involves stepping back from self, and into a bigger picture. As I do this I begin to lose my 'story' of what is happening. The more I do it the smaller my 'story' becomes and the less-identified I become with it. As I step into the much bigger picture, at this point I become limited by my language. We could call this bigger picture God, or the Universe, or Christ Consciousness, or Enlightnement.....but I prefer to simply use the word Love...as that is what it feels like. It doesn't feel like a neutral state, a sort of taking out of gear, but a positive, energy-filled, aliveness of celebration and love.
In this state the old dualistic way of experiencing life disappears....there is no 'me' and 'you' ...there is simply one-ness. Judgement and justification melt away.....
Having experienced this a few times, and noticed the way it changes everything in my perceptual world, I am intrigued by the ways in which I can move into the big picture increasingly easily, no matter what else is going on. My current entry points to this expanded state include prayer (ritual and silent), meditation (again my version of it involves nothing rather than focusing on something), conscious choice, active acceptance, music, chanting, sharing with others.
It's a bit early for New Year's resolutions......but I think the BIG picture is one I want to cultivate in 2012!
Sunday, 9 October 2011
SLAMMED!!!
We've been 'slammed'.
This is another new experience for me.....and one that is proving a mite challenging!
For those of you who haven't yet discovered what it is to be 'slammed', allow me to explain.
On Thursday all was well. Our phone worked and so did our internet connection. On Friday morning we got up, switched on our laptops to check e-mails, news, weather etc....but couldn't get a connection. This is not particularly unusual....but when all the usual tricks failed to work, I decided to ring our provider....and discovered too that the phone did not work either.
A series of phone calls from my partner and myself ( and ok...I admit his were more effective than mine) to the provider and other providers lead to the pronouncement that we had been 'slammed'. Another provider had taken ( I think of it as STOLEN!) our phone line, either inadvertently or deliberately. Apparently it's not uncommon. And apparently it could take up to two weeks to either repair the mistake or to find us a new line. In the meantime I'm becoming a rather familiar figure hunched over my laptop in Wetherspoons....enjoying their free wi-fi. Bless Wetherspoons.
I'm fascinated by the word 'slammed' and the effect it has on the users. Its connotations of violence, power, victim etc. So many of the words we use have an onomatopoiec effect on us. This is familiar NLP stuff...but when you come across a new word used in a new context it allows us to realise again the power that the words we use have upon ourselves, our family, our friends, our colleaguees, our clients, our students.
It has started me thinking of the words I want to be using instead. I like softer, nurturing, loving, empowering, enabling words (do these words in some way embody the sentiment they convey?).
Note to self: listen gently to the words I use when I'm talking to me.
And send loving thoughts to those s.........!
This is another new experience for me.....and one that is proving a mite challenging!
For those of you who haven't yet discovered what it is to be 'slammed', allow me to explain.
On Thursday all was well. Our phone worked and so did our internet connection. On Friday morning we got up, switched on our laptops to check e-mails, news, weather etc....but couldn't get a connection. This is not particularly unusual....but when all the usual tricks failed to work, I decided to ring our provider....and discovered too that the phone did not work either.
A series of phone calls from my partner and myself ( and ok...I admit his were more effective than mine) to the provider and other providers lead to the pronouncement that we had been 'slammed'. Another provider had taken ( I think of it as STOLEN!) our phone line, either inadvertently or deliberately. Apparently it's not uncommon. And apparently it could take up to two weeks to either repair the mistake or to find us a new line. In the meantime I'm becoming a rather familiar figure hunched over my laptop in Wetherspoons....enjoying their free wi-fi. Bless Wetherspoons.
I'm fascinated by the word 'slammed' and the effect it has on the users. Its connotations of violence, power, victim etc. So many of the words we use have an onomatopoiec effect on us. This is familiar NLP stuff...but when you come across a new word used in a new context it allows us to realise again the power that the words we use have upon ourselves, our family, our friends, our colleaguees, our clients, our students.
It has started me thinking of the words I want to be using instead. I like softer, nurturing, loving, empowering, enabling words (do these words in some way embody the sentiment they convey?).
Note to self: listen gently to the words I use when I'm talking to me.
And send loving thoughts to those s.........!
Thursday, 8 September 2011
'WE ARE SAILING....'
Sailing. There are always so many things I learn from the times - not all that frequent! - when I sail.
The last time was last Sunday. My plan had been to spend the morning doing school prep, ready for going back on Monday. Yet when I woke, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. It seemed madness to stay in and work when we were heading into Autumn and this might well be one of only a few sunny days. It didn't take very much persuasion to lure my partner out onto the water....
We decided on a limited venture across from Mylor to Loe Beach to grab a cuppa at the cafe, then head back to Mylor. I'm always struck by the choosing of a point to set off towards. I love the focus on a point in the distance, maybe a clump of trees or a building, on the far shore. I love the fact that it's in the distance, but as we sail towards it it becomes closer. I love the fact that knowing our final destination, in this case Loe Beach, we have to set off in different directions in order to get to it - zigzagging our way forwards - changing our course as the wind direction changes, but always keeping in sight our end destination.
I know in my own life that having a destination, a vision is vital. Once I know where I'm going, then I can plan my course, changing it according to the winds that blow across my life.
When we arrived at Loe Beach we took the inflatable, affectionately named the 'plastic doughnut' and paddled to shore. Not without some difficulty, as the wind had become much stronger. We had a brief cuppa, then clambered back into the doughnut and back onto Tiddy Oggie.
Sailing back turned into a bit of a challenge. The winds were stronger and sea choppier than we had experienced on this boat. A reef was put in the sail, the main sheet was let out, and still we heeled in a way that felt less than comfortable! I was aware of the need for calm. When things become choppy a calm response means that one can make sensible, rational decisions. Panic -yes, I did a bit! - wasn't remotely helpful.
I've always found regarding life as a sailing adventure a really helpful metaphor. At the start of September and the beginning of the academic year, at school it seems as if we are just setting sail. Ship ready? The destination? July - lessons learned, exam syllabuses taught, exams sat, productions produced, concerts given, games played, fun had. All on board? Here we go again.....
The last time was last Sunday. My plan had been to spend the morning doing school prep, ready for going back on Monday. Yet when I woke, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. It seemed madness to stay in and work when we were heading into Autumn and this might well be one of only a few sunny days. It didn't take very much persuasion to lure my partner out onto the water....
We decided on a limited venture across from Mylor to Loe Beach to grab a cuppa at the cafe, then head back to Mylor. I'm always struck by the choosing of a point to set off towards. I love the focus on a point in the distance, maybe a clump of trees or a building, on the far shore. I love the fact that it's in the distance, but as we sail towards it it becomes closer. I love the fact that knowing our final destination, in this case Loe Beach, we have to set off in different directions in order to get to it - zigzagging our way forwards - changing our course as the wind direction changes, but always keeping in sight our end destination.
I know in my own life that having a destination, a vision is vital. Once I know where I'm going, then I can plan my course, changing it according to the winds that blow across my life.
When we arrived at Loe Beach we took the inflatable, affectionately named the 'plastic doughnut' and paddled to shore. Not without some difficulty, as the wind had become much stronger. We had a brief cuppa, then clambered back into the doughnut and back onto Tiddy Oggie.
Sailing back turned into a bit of a challenge. The winds were stronger and sea choppier than we had experienced on this boat. A reef was put in the sail, the main sheet was let out, and still we heeled in a way that felt less than comfortable! I was aware of the need for calm. When things become choppy a calm response means that one can make sensible, rational decisions. Panic -yes, I did a bit! - wasn't remotely helpful.
I've always found regarding life as a sailing adventure a really helpful metaphor. At the start of September and the beginning of the academic year, at school it seems as if we are just setting sail. Ship ready? The destination? July - lessons learned, exam syllabuses taught, exams sat, productions produced, concerts given, games played, fun had. All on board? Here we go again.....
Thursday, 18 August 2011
Saying YES to Life!
It was a gorgeous sunny evening yesterday, and I was sitting on the quay at Mylor Harbour enjoying a drink, watching the sun go down, and thinking the usual, 'I'm so lucky to live in Cornwall,' thoughts, when I was approached by a boy. Maybe he was about 9 or 10.
'Are you the wife of the gentleman who is currently walking to the car park? He says you produce rather fine cuisine.'
Well, it seemed not entirely out of the question that I was said wife. So I answererd in the affirmative.
'He thought you would like to know that we have been collecting razor clams and are selling them at a rather enticing price.'
'Really? What are razor clams?'
He explained slowly so I could follow him.
'So how do you cook them?'
Another patient explanation followed.....and at the end he threw in the useful tip that they are really quite delicious with olive oil and garlic. Hmmm.
'So would you like to buy some? 10 for £1 or the whole lot - at least 100 for £10.'
Well.....how intriguing. I looked at the boy who held a large bucket of clams, and at his younger sister who held the smaller bucket.
'Why, yes. I would love to buy 10 razor clams!'
The younger sister, clearly a new counter, carefully extracted one razor clam at a time from her bucket and placed them on my hand, counting each one out loud. The brother produced a poly bag to put them in, and then I produced a £1 coin.
'Thank you. It's been a pleasure to do business with you,' he declared.
He shook my hand, and they took their buckets and their clams and wandered off......
Love this saying yes to life stuff.....all sorts of interesting experiences ensue. Razor clams for lunch ....and I think I might have met a future winner of 'The Apprentice'!
'Are you the wife of the gentleman who is currently walking to the car park? He says you produce rather fine cuisine.'
Well, it seemed not entirely out of the question that I was said wife. So I answererd in the affirmative.
'He thought you would like to know that we have been collecting razor clams and are selling them at a rather enticing price.'
'Really? What are razor clams?'
He explained slowly so I could follow him.
'So how do you cook them?'
Another patient explanation followed.....and at the end he threw in the useful tip that they are really quite delicious with olive oil and garlic. Hmmm.
'So would you like to buy some? 10 for £1 or the whole lot - at least 100 for £10.'
Well.....how intriguing. I looked at the boy who held a large bucket of clams, and at his younger sister who held the smaller bucket.
'Why, yes. I would love to buy 10 razor clams!'
The younger sister, clearly a new counter, carefully extracted one razor clam at a time from her bucket and placed them on my hand, counting each one out loud. The brother produced a poly bag to put them in, and then I produced a £1 coin.
'Thank you. It's been a pleasure to do business with you,' he declared.
He shook my hand, and they took their buckets and their clams and wandered off......
Love this saying yes to life stuff.....all sorts of interesting experiences ensue. Razor clams for lunch ....and I think I might have met a future winner of 'The Apprentice'!
Thursday, 11 August 2011
Still Breathing.....
I love stories, and particularly enjoyed the one Jonathan Nunn told on the recent Breathing course. Here is my memory of it (how easy is it to remember and accurately reproduce what you have heard? And how often do we 'tell the story' of what happened to us....inaccurately......in our distorted version? But that's another story.....)
A man heard of a very wise guru that lived high up in the mountains, who was reputed to have the ability to give genies to people. This sounded amazing and highly desirable...so the man set off to find the guru. After much travelling he found him, and asked the guru if it was true that he could conjure up genies. The guru nodded, so the man said that he would like one. The guru declined to produce one for him. The man was determined to have one and began to use all his powers of persuasion to persuade the guru to produce a genie for him.
After several days of using his persuasive skills the guru agreed to produce a genie. The genie, the guru said, would do anything the man asked him to do, but he must take care to keep the genie occupied at all times; if he wasn't occupied the genie would produce a sword and cut the man to pieces. He checked that the man still wanted one, but it seemed he did.
So the genie was produced. At first the man asked him to build him a mansion, thinking that that would keep the genie occupied for a long time. But in the twinkling of an eye, he had his mansion. Quickly he asked the genie to build an orchard. Again, in an instant it appeared. As the man paused to think of something else he saw the genie take out his sword and move towards the man. 'And now make me a feast,' he said, becoming desperate to think of things to prevent the genie from killing him.
After a short space of time the man realised why the wise guru had been so reluctant to give him the genie; it was a nightmare! Thinking fast, he asked the genie to take him back to the guru, and in a split second they were there. The man begged the guru to take the genie back, saying that he couldn't keep thinking of things for him to do....it was impossible...and there was no peace.....and no rest. 'Please take him back!' the man begged.
Surprisngly the guru refused. But he was a very wise guru, and he gave the unfortunate man with the genie the following advice: When you have no work for the genie, ask him to build a helter-skelter and instruct him to climb up to the top, slide down to the bottom and keep doing that until you have another instruction for him.
The man smiled. He knew now how to control the genie.
What is the genie? Our active minds. As soon as we have finished doing some really useful or creative thinking what happens?
When we don't require our conscious mind to think, we can park it, rather like the genie on the helter-skelter, on the breath. As we focus on the in-breath, then the out-breath, our mind doesn't have time for all the unhelpful waffle it so often is tempted into.
A man heard of a very wise guru that lived high up in the mountains, who was reputed to have the ability to give genies to people. This sounded amazing and highly desirable...so the man set off to find the guru. After much travelling he found him, and asked the guru if it was true that he could conjure up genies. The guru nodded, so the man said that he would like one. The guru declined to produce one for him. The man was determined to have one and began to use all his powers of persuasion to persuade the guru to produce a genie for him.
After several days of using his persuasive skills the guru agreed to produce a genie. The genie, the guru said, would do anything the man asked him to do, but he must take care to keep the genie occupied at all times; if he wasn't occupied the genie would produce a sword and cut the man to pieces. He checked that the man still wanted one, but it seemed he did.
So the genie was produced. At first the man asked him to build him a mansion, thinking that that would keep the genie occupied for a long time. But in the twinkling of an eye, he had his mansion. Quickly he asked the genie to build an orchard. Again, in an instant it appeared. As the man paused to think of something else he saw the genie take out his sword and move towards the man. 'And now make me a feast,' he said, becoming desperate to think of things to prevent the genie from killing him.
After a short space of time the man realised why the wise guru had been so reluctant to give him the genie; it was a nightmare! Thinking fast, he asked the genie to take him back to the guru, and in a split second they were there. The man begged the guru to take the genie back, saying that he couldn't keep thinking of things for him to do....it was impossible...and there was no peace.....and no rest. 'Please take him back!' the man begged.
Surprisngly the guru refused. But he was a very wise guru, and he gave the unfortunate man with the genie the following advice: When you have no work for the genie, ask him to build a helter-skelter and instruct him to climb up to the top, slide down to the bottom and keep doing that until you have another instruction for him.
The man smiled. He knew now how to control the genie.
What is the genie? Our active minds. As soon as we have finished doing some really useful or creative thinking what happens?
When we don't require our conscious mind to think, we can park it, rather like the genie on the helter-skelter, on the breath. As we focus on the in-breath, then the out-breath, our mind doesn't have time for all the unhelpful waffle it so often is tempted into.
Monday, 8 August 2011
Breathing and Bellies!
Recently I attended a fascinating two-day workshop at the beautiful Hawkwood College in Stroud, run by Dr David Beales and Jonathon Nunn. The subject: Mindfulness and the Breath.
I've been aware for some time that the way we breathe has a powerful physiological and psychological effect on our bodies, but wanted more detailed input on exactly how this works and how I can alter my breathing to further my own well-being.
I learned so much that it is a challenge to fit it all into one blog....so this might be the first of many!
On the second day David introduced us to a capnographer: a device that measures our carbon di-oxide levels in our outbreath. In turn we were invited to hook our nostrils up to a tube and simply breath. How difficult could that be? Well, in my case, very! How interesting to notice that when it was my turn to breathe and have the subsequent display of my carbon di-oxide levels on the screen for everyone to look at, I discovered I could do an old pattern of nervousness really easily. And of course my breathing reflected that. David used his lovely language to help me take myself back to a place of calm......to notice my feet as they connected to the floor....to recall the things we had talked about earlier....and it helped a little. Then he mentioned the 'soft belly' - the one that babies and children have naturally and easily. It was a bit like a switch for me. As I relaxed my belly, so I relaxed; my breathing slowed and became calm. David pointed out that this was a great anchor for me, which it was...and still is.
Since that discovery moment I have been intrigued to notice how much of the time I've been instinctively doing 'tight belly' (and not because my muscle tone is superb!) and how that effectively means I'm doing a degree of stress. Moving to 'soft belly' means that I can change my state really easily. It also means I have to eschew the notion of flat tummy which is so often held up as an ideal in our current culture. Doing so is an act of love for me; it means I am valuing myself and my own well-being above what other people might think of me.
An interesting side-effect of 'soft belly' is that after a few days, my belly became softer and smaller. Not surprising really, when you consider the effect of sending messages of love and relaxation to the gut area rather than stress. But I wonder if the same effect would have been achieved if I had done 'soft belly' with the express intention of reducing its size. I suspect not. Intention is all.
I've been aware for some time that the way we breathe has a powerful physiological and psychological effect on our bodies, but wanted more detailed input on exactly how this works and how I can alter my breathing to further my own well-being.
I learned so much that it is a challenge to fit it all into one blog....so this might be the first of many!
On the second day David introduced us to a capnographer: a device that measures our carbon di-oxide levels in our outbreath. In turn we were invited to hook our nostrils up to a tube and simply breath. How difficult could that be? Well, in my case, very! How interesting to notice that when it was my turn to breathe and have the subsequent display of my carbon di-oxide levels on the screen for everyone to look at, I discovered I could do an old pattern of nervousness really easily. And of course my breathing reflected that. David used his lovely language to help me take myself back to a place of calm......to notice my feet as they connected to the floor....to recall the things we had talked about earlier....and it helped a little. Then he mentioned the 'soft belly' - the one that babies and children have naturally and easily. It was a bit like a switch for me. As I relaxed my belly, so I relaxed; my breathing slowed and became calm. David pointed out that this was a great anchor for me, which it was...and still is.
Since that discovery moment I have been intrigued to notice how much of the time I've been instinctively doing 'tight belly' (and not because my muscle tone is superb!) and how that effectively means I'm doing a degree of stress. Moving to 'soft belly' means that I can change my state really easily. It also means I have to eschew the notion of flat tummy which is so often held up as an ideal in our current culture. Doing so is an act of love for me; it means I am valuing myself and my own well-being above what other people might think of me.
An interesting side-effect of 'soft belly' is that after a few days, my belly became softer and smaller. Not surprising really, when you consider the effect of sending messages of love and relaxation to the gut area rather than stress. But I wonder if the same effect would have been achieved if I had done 'soft belly' with the express intention of reducing its size. I suspect not. Intention is all.
Sunday, 24 July 2011
What can we learn from Harry Potter?
It's the end of an era. The last Harry Potter film has been celebrated, shown and viewed.
We went to the 2D version, the 3D having been fully booked up for ages. And it felt cathartic. The whole cinema applauded at the end - something that rarely happens - but which creates a rather delightful feeling of community and belonging to something bigger than ourselves.
Then I began thinking about what I could learn from this last filmic episode.
I was struck most of all by three qualities: intention, determination and committment. At the start of the film we re-connect with Harry's intention to destroy the horcruxes. This was the mission that Harry had been given by Dumbledore, and his strong intention is to carry out this mission. His intention set his direction rather like a rudder sets the direction for a boat.
How many times was he thwarted? I've lost count! There was the time in Gringott's vault when all the objects kept multiplying; there was the time in the Room of Requirement when he faced engulfing flames; the time when he was about to be discovered in Hogsmeade.....you know the rest. And what kept Harry going? I think it was his determination to complete the task, and his belief that the task was do-able.
And lastly there is Harry's committment. When he has to fight Voldemort he is totally committed to the task. You can tell by the expression on his face and his body posture. Total committment. He fights with 100%. He gives it, not a good shot, but his very best shot. And did he win the fight? Actually, no. At least not in the short term. But I think that when we operate with intention, determination and committment....then magic can happen. And it did for Harry.
Harry is a certainly a key figure.....but the other character that stood out for me was Neville Longbottom. Neville, who found learning how to do spells difficult; who had various mishaps throughout his school career; who was always losing Trevor, his toad; who never looked as if he would turn into a hero....is the one who comes up trumps in the end in a most spectacular fashion! It reminds me of a verse in the Bible I have always been fond of. It's from Corinthians and goes something like, 'God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.'
There are so many things we can learn from these wonderful books and films.....I imagine it's a subject that I will return to again and again......
Long live Harry Potter!
We went to the 2D version, the 3D having been fully booked up for ages. And it felt cathartic. The whole cinema applauded at the end - something that rarely happens - but which creates a rather delightful feeling of community and belonging to something bigger than ourselves.
Then I began thinking about what I could learn from this last filmic episode.
I was struck most of all by three qualities: intention, determination and committment. At the start of the film we re-connect with Harry's intention to destroy the horcruxes. This was the mission that Harry had been given by Dumbledore, and his strong intention is to carry out this mission. His intention set his direction rather like a rudder sets the direction for a boat.
How many times was he thwarted? I've lost count! There was the time in Gringott's vault when all the objects kept multiplying; there was the time in the Room of Requirement when he faced engulfing flames; the time when he was about to be discovered in Hogsmeade.....you know the rest. And what kept Harry going? I think it was his determination to complete the task, and his belief that the task was do-able.
And lastly there is Harry's committment. When he has to fight Voldemort he is totally committed to the task. You can tell by the expression on his face and his body posture. Total committment. He fights with 100%. He gives it, not a good shot, but his very best shot. And did he win the fight? Actually, no. At least not in the short term. But I think that when we operate with intention, determination and committment....then magic can happen. And it did for Harry.
Harry is a certainly a key figure.....but the other character that stood out for me was Neville Longbottom. Neville, who found learning how to do spells difficult; who had various mishaps throughout his school career; who was always losing Trevor, his toad; who never looked as if he would turn into a hero....is the one who comes up trumps in the end in a most spectacular fashion! It reminds me of a verse in the Bible I have always been fond of. It's from Corinthians and goes something like, 'God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.'
There are so many things we can learn from these wonderful books and films.....I imagine it's a subject that I will return to again and again......
Long live Harry Potter!
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Follow Your Bliss....
I can't remember exactly how long ago it was that I first came across and read Joseph Campbell's books 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces' and 'Pathways to Bliss', but it was years ago. And the idea of following one's bliss seemed instincitvely appealing....and also practically unlikely.
I've been re-visitng this idea recently. Having worked as a Lightning Process practitioner for 3 years, I started noticing that, for me, there was a degree of unease about my role delivering, essentially, someone else's versions of how we move forward with our lives, and what needs to be in place to do that. As I continued to tune into this feeling and the possibility that it might be time for me to move on, I began to consider what I truly wanted to do with my life. What, indeed, constituted my bliss...and was it practically possible for me to follow it?
What happened when I started flirting with the idea of doing something else was interesting. First of all a couple of opportunities arose for me to work in a more spiritual context, which seemed to be a lovely way of amalgamating two aspects of me. Then I started finding myself becoming more creative and productive. Excitement began to grow....
When the decision to move on was finally made, I had already begun a journey of creativity and possibility. And this has continued and been blessed (yes, I use a spiritual word deliberately) by chance meetings with people, collaborative meetings, and what I might describe as an explosion of possibility.
The experience I wrote about in my last blog has been another milestone on the journey forwards, bringing an even greater awareness of love and compassion into the work I do and reminding me of the close links between mind, music and spirituality.
So, in some ways I am able to regard myself as an a experiment. What happens when we follow our bliss? At this stage in the experiment I can report that good things happen.
I think Joseph Campbell would approve......
I've been re-visitng this idea recently. Having worked as a Lightning Process practitioner for 3 years, I started noticing that, for me, there was a degree of unease about my role delivering, essentially, someone else's versions of how we move forward with our lives, and what needs to be in place to do that. As I continued to tune into this feeling and the possibility that it might be time for me to move on, I began to consider what I truly wanted to do with my life. What, indeed, constituted my bliss...and was it practically possible for me to follow it?
What happened when I started flirting with the idea of doing something else was interesting. First of all a couple of opportunities arose for me to work in a more spiritual context, which seemed to be a lovely way of amalgamating two aspects of me. Then I started finding myself becoming more creative and productive. Excitement began to grow....
When the decision to move on was finally made, I had already begun a journey of creativity and possibility. And this has continued and been blessed (yes, I use a spiritual word deliberately) by chance meetings with people, collaborative meetings, and what I might describe as an explosion of possibility.
The experience I wrote about in my last blog has been another milestone on the journey forwards, bringing an even greater awareness of love and compassion into the work I do and reminding me of the close links between mind, music and spirituality.
So, in some ways I am able to regard myself as an a experiment. What happens when we follow our bliss? At this stage in the experiment I can report that good things happen.
I think Joseph Campbell would approve......
Friday, 3 June 2011
Towards Silence
I have had a rather extraordinary few hours.
Last night I went to a performance of John Tavener's latest work 'Towards Silence' in Truro Cathedral. Four quartets positioned at distant points around the cathedral to form a cross; a Tibetan prayer bowl in the gallery. Sounds emerging, converging, creating, moving, gaps, voices, mantras, chimes......the vibrations of the prayer bowl left hanging in the air...until they too were sucked back into time and space. We sat whilst everyone left in silence, the dying sounds of footsteps part of the sense of exit. Eventually we too left, but confronted with the chatter of everyday life, quickly returned to the cathedral space, not yet ready to emerge from the womb of enchantment.
And today the sense of having met with another world remains. At lunchtime the privelege of listening to Prof Paul Robertson, Dr Peter Fenwick, Prof Ray Tallis in company with Prof Tony Pinching, discussing in the Knowledge Spa, a place of academic and medical learning, the subject of spirituality, mind and music; to hear doctors and consultants talk about the importance and value of love in all they do; to make connections.with people who just seem to have been placed in one's path; to share a new vision with new people.
A sense of wonder; a sense of awe; a sense of being so very blessed.
Last night I went to a performance of John Tavener's latest work 'Towards Silence' in Truro Cathedral. Four quartets positioned at distant points around the cathedral to form a cross; a Tibetan prayer bowl in the gallery. Sounds emerging, converging, creating, moving, gaps, voices, mantras, chimes......the vibrations of the prayer bowl left hanging in the air...until they too were sucked back into time and space. We sat whilst everyone left in silence, the dying sounds of footsteps part of the sense of exit. Eventually we too left, but confronted with the chatter of everyday life, quickly returned to the cathedral space, not yet ready to emerge from the womb of enchantment.
And today the sense of having met with another world remains. At lunchtime the privelege of listening to Prof Paul Robertson, Dr Peter Fenwick, Prof Ray Tallis in company with Prof Tony Pinching, discussing in the Knowledge Spa, a place of academic and medical learning, the subject of spirituality, mind and music; to hear doctors and consultants talk about the importance and value of love in all they do; to make connections.with people who just seem to have been placed in one's path; to share a new vision with new people.
A sense of wonder; a sense of awe; a sense of being so very blessed.
Monday, 30 May 2011
ME: Healing The Past
There comes a time when we feel ready to look at, and heal the past.
I've been musing over this recently. A few weeks ago, during ME awareness week, Dr Hilary Jones talked about the Lightning Process on the 'Lorraine' TV show. They featured a lady called Ginetta before and after she did the Lightning Process.
What interested me was the backlash from some ME groups and sufferers speaking out vociferously against this item. Such strength of feeling being expressed against the Lightning Process and Dr Jones! The fact that someone had improved their health and well-being was pretty much ignored.
The second casue for reflection was attending a reseach seminar where Prof Peter White talked about the results of the PACE trial. This RCT (randomised controlled trial) looked at 4 interventions for ME: SMC (standard medical care),Pacing, CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and GET (graded exercise therapy). The two that showed most benefit were CBT and GET; Pacing and SMC seemed to have little positive effect. It seems that extending the boundaries of capability is a more effective way of improving the life of someone with ME than remaining within the boundaries. Crucially, the statistics showed that neither CBT or GET made people worse; this was specifically targetted becasue it had been one of the concerns of the ME community.
As well as explaining the research results, Prof White showed us extracts of responses from the medical community to the piece of research; these reflected that the research community held this research in high regard as a piece of research. He then showed us extracts from responses from the ME community via some, though not all, of the major self-help groups. They expressed anger and horror at both the methodology and results of the trial. Requests were made to The Lancet to remove the piece of research; they were declined..
I used to be one of the ME community, so I understand where these responses are coming from; they have fought for years to have their illness recognised, to receive benefits, to gain carers etc. It has been a battle. However, there appears, in the process, to have developed a huge mistrust between those who try to help them and the ME community itself. That mistrust has developed into, in some cases, bitter anger.
Is it now time to heal the past? What would need to happen for us to do that? Do we, as people who work with ME sufferers, need to listen even more carefully to them? Are they able to listen to us? What needs to happen for them to be able to rejoice in the fact that CBT and GET (and I would add Lightning Process - which has at least anecdotal evidence of people recovering) enable people to get better?
As a practitioner who works with people with ME, and as someone who once had that illness, I want to find a way of healing the past, and moving into a brighter future for us all. Is it now time to heal the past?
I've been musing over this recently. A few weeks ago, during ME awareness week, Dr Hilary Jones talked about the Lightning Process on the 'Lorraine' TV show. They featured a lady called Ginetta before and after she did the Lightning Process.
What interested me was the backlash from some ME groups and sufferers speaking out vociferously against this item. Such strength of feeling being expressed against the Lightning Process and Dr Jones! The fact that someone had improved their health and well-being was pretty much ignored.
The second casue for reflection was attending a reseach seminar where Prof Peter White talked about the results of the PACE trial. This RCT (randomised controlled trial) looked at 4 interventions for ME: SMC (standard medical care),Pacing, CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and GET (graded exercise therapy). The two that showed most benefit were CBT and GET; Pacing and SMC seemed to have little positive effect. It seems that extending the boundaries of capability is a more effective way of improving the life of someone with ME than remaining within the boundaries. Crucially, the statistics showed that neither CBT or GET made people worse; this was specifically targetted becasue it had been one of the concerns of the ME community.
As well as explaining the research results, Prof White showed us extracts of responses from the medical community to the piece of research; these reflected that the research community held this research in high regard as a piece of research. He then showed us extracts from responses from the ME community via some, though not all, of the major self-help groups. They expressed anger and horror at both the methodology and results of the trial. Requests were made to The Lancet to remove the piece of research; they were declined..
I used to be one of the ME community, so I understand where these responses are coming from; they have fought for years to have their illness recognised, to receive benefits, to gain carers etc. It has been a battle. However, there appears, in the process, to have developed a huge mistrust between those who try to help them and the ME community itself. That mistrust has developed into, in some cases, bitter anger.
Is it now time to heal the past? What would need to happen for us to do that? Do we, as people who work with ME sufferers, need to listen even more carefully to them? Are they able to listen to us? What needs to happen for them to be able to rejoice in the fact that CBT and GET (and I would add Lightning Process - which has at least anecdotal evidence of people recovering) enable people to get better?
As a practitioner who works with people with ME, and as someone who once had that illness, I want to find a way of healing the past, and moving into a brighter future for us all. Is it now time to heal the past?
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Using NLP to deal with a cold....and work!
I was interested to read Justin Collinge's post in the latest Kaizen newsletter. This was a departure from Justin's usual contributions, in that he chose to write it in poetry. He has very kindly agreed to let me post it here. Another example of how we can use these fascinating NLP tools to enable us to live positive, fruitful lives. Here is Justin on colds......
"We know we're not at the mercy of how we feel and can choose our state. Just how much choice do we have? Below is a recount of a recent training event where I was faced with the chance to test this:
"We know we're not at the mercy of how we feel and can choose our state. Just how much choice do we have? Below is a recount of a recent training event where I was faced with the chance to test this:
The night before
I’d gone to bed sore
My throat on fire and my nose red raw.
The cold had been stalking me
And now, like a grinning gargoyle,
I welcome them back to day three
With great expectations,
hope and elations,
and a few reservations
they sat and they waited
for me to share my wisdom.
But my strength soaked away
like rain on dry ground
I found
I was shaking.
With my head full of cloud
there was no mistaking
I should be in bed
not in front of this crowd.
Then I recalled
that I could change my state.
Though my energy was stalled
I could create
the strength I needed,
and could choose how to feel
it wasn’t just ‘fate’.
Physiology – my shoulders back, and I breathe deep,
Put a smile on my face which I keep
as I step onto the floor.
Focus – not on my tale of woe,
I transfer my attention where I need it to go
On the eager faces and their readiness to throw
themselves in and learn even more.
Language – As I started, I choose not to bore
with tales of sickness
and nasal ickiness
But spoke of health and happiness -
And suddenly it wasn’t a chore.
The day went well,
and the evaluations were as good as any I’d ever got
My ailing health I simply forgot
and the show went on.
It was about half way home I remembered again
how I wasn’t well and my aching brain,
and nose, and throat - and now chest as well
needed looking after.
I no longer needed to excel
so I struggled home and took to my bed
Aware somewhere inside it was,
at least partly,
all in my head!"
Lovely blend of managing our state .... and common sense. We have a choice. Hope the last bit included a hot toddy....
If you'd like to find out more about Justin and the Kaizen team you can find them at www.kaizen-training.com
Monday, 9 May 2011
ME Awareness week: a message of hope.
The fact that ME is in the news this week has focused my attention once more on what an unpleasant and miserable illness this is.
When I was ill, there were hardly any stories of people who had recovered from it, and the general consensus was that if you were going to get better, it would happen within the first two years. I remember hitting the 5 year mark and descending briefly into despair. I hadn't heard of anyone who had recovered after such a long period of time. My lovely consultant refused to let me wallow in such sad stories, and told me that he knew of people who had recovered after even longer. A glimmer of hope.
What is different now is that there are so many people whose stories of ME recovery are out there. I am now one of many. The good news that I really want to shout from the rooftops to all those who have been diagnosed with ME or CFS, or those who live with or care for them, is that it is possible improve, to get better and to recover. I did the Lightning Process and recovered by learning how to change my body's responses, and was so amazed by what I learned that I decided to train to be a practitioner, so I could use my own experience to help others. I have been doing this for the past 3 years, and have seen many people improve their lives. It takes work and committment, for sure, and is not without its challenges...but it is do-able. Other people recover using different approaches. But the important thing to note is that improvement and recovery are now real possiblities. What a difference from when I was ill.
When I was ill, there were hardly any stories of people who had recovered from it, and the general consensus was that if you were going to get better, it would happen within the first two years. I remember hitting the 5 year mark and descending briefly into despair. I hadn't heard of anyone who had recovered after such a long period of time. My lovely consultant refused to let me wallow in such sad stories, and told me that he knew of people who had recovered after even longer. A glimmer of hope.
What is different now is that there are so many people whose stories of ME recovery are out there. I am now one of many. The good news that I really want to shout from the rooftops to all those who have been diagnosed with ME or CFS, or those who live with or care for them, is that it is possible improve, to get better and to recover. I did the Lightning Process and recovered by learning how to change my body's responses, and was so amazed by what I learned that I decided to train to be a practitioner, so I could use my own experience to help others. I have been doing this for the past 3 years, and have seen many people improve their lives. It takes work and committment, for sure, and is not without its challenges...but it is do-able. Other people recover using different approaches. But the important thing to note is that improvement and recovery are now real possiblities. What a difference from when I was ill.
Telling Stories....
Last night I was chatting with someone who hadn't known me when I was ill, and they were asking questions, expressing surprise at the answers. Yes, we had a stairlift, and all the other paraphenalia that disability tends to bring. Yes, I had carers. It seemed so strange. Here was I, vibrantly healthy, talking about a past that seemed to belong to someone else. And yet it was all true. I told 'my story' and yet it didn't feel like' my story'; I was quite disocciated from it. I wasn't that person any more.
Fast forward to this morning, when I woke up telling myself a very convincing story about how much I had to do this week, how busy it was going to be, how difficult etc etc. And did I believe it? Yes! Fortunately, I caught myself mid-story and stopped. Was the a useful story to be spinning on Monday morning? No! Was there another story I could tell which was equally 'true', but more useful? Yes!
So....the story I'm telling myself this morning is that, in a recession, I am so lucky/blessed that I have a full appointment diary this week, that I am priveleged that people trust me enough to tell me their stories, and brave enough to want to ask for help to change their 'stuff'. How lucky am I that clients want to share with me their changes. How different does it feel to tell that story? It has changed my outlook for the week, my feelings of gratitude, and therefore my feelings of happines, and my body is relaxed and my mind positive.
Story telling....powerful stuff!
Fast forward to this morning, when I woke up telling myself a very convincing story about how much I had to do this week, how busy it was going to be, how difficult etc etc. And did I believe it? Yes! Fortunately, I caught myself mid-story and stopped. Was the a useful story to be spinning on Monday morning? No! Was there another story I could tell which was equally 'true', but more useful? Yes!
So....the story I'm telling myself this morning is that, in a recession, I am so lucky/blessed that I have a full appointment diary this week, that I am priveleged that people trust me enough to tell me their stories, and brave enough to want to ask for help to change their 'stuff'. How lucky am I that clients want to share with me their changes. How different does it feel to tell that story? It has changed my outlook for the week, my feelings of gratitude, and therefore my feelings of happines, and my body is relaxed and my mind positive.
Story telling....powerful stuff!
Monday, 2 May 2011
Creating Ourselves
I've recently been reading Cordelia Fine's excellent book, 'Delusions of Gender'. She mentions some research carried out by Adam Galinsky and colleagues, where participants are shown pictures of people including a cheerleader, professor, elderly man and an African American man. Participants were then asked to actually BE that person and write their diary for an entire day.
After they had done this, participants were asked to rate some of their own qualities. Perhaps not too surprisingly, those who had imagined they were the cheerleader rated themselves as more gorgeous, sexy and attractive than the control group; those who imagined themselves to be professors felt smarter; the elderly man felt weaker and more dependent; and the African American man imaginers felt more agressive and athletic.
By imagining themselves to be someone else, the participants had altered their concept of themselves. The study goes on to demonstrate that this change in self-concept is translated into changes in behaviour.
This seems to me to be a powerful demonstration of the way we can create, not only gender, but also many other aspects of ourselves. And for those of us who have worked with NLP strategies ourselves, and with others, we know from first-hand expeerience that it is literally possible to create the sort of person you want to be.
So the questions for us all are: 'Do we want to keep being unconsciously created by forces that appear to sweep us along? Or do we want to consciously create the sort of person we want to become?' The first is much easier; the second far more challenging......yet what price being able to become the sort of people we have always wanted to be?
Now....who shall I imagine being today?!
After they had done this, participants were asked to rate some of their own qualities. Perhaps not too surprisingly, those who had imagined they were the cheerleader rated themselves as more gorgeous, sexy and attractive than the control group; those who imagined themselves to be professors felt smarter; the elderly man felt weaker and more dependent; and the African American man imaginers felt more agressive and athletic.
By imagining themselves to be someone else, the participants had altered their concept of themselves. The study goes on to demonstrate that this change in self-concept is translated into changes in behaviour.
This seems to me to be a powerful demonstration of the way we can create, not only gender, but also many other aspects of ourselves. And for those of us who have worked with NLP strategies ourselves, and with others, we know from first-hand expeerience that it is literally possible to create the sort of person you want to be.
So the questions for us all are: 'Do we want to keep being unconsciously created by forces that appear to sweep us along? Or do we want to consciously create the sort of person we want to become?' The first is much easier; the second far more challenging......yet what price being able to become the sort of people we have always wanted to be?
Now....who shall I imagine being today?!
Friday, 22 April 2011
Concert Observation
I was very lucky to be given a free concert ticket last week. I've been to concerts at the Hall for Cornwall many times since my recovery; this one was particularly interesting for two reasons.
First, the free ticket was for a prime position: five rows from the front, and dead centre. It's the row which you can walk infront of....and the row where wheelchair-users are given places, as the seats can be easily removed. There was a gap just beside me, and an elderly lady in a wheelchair, pushed by an elderly man arrived and took up position. I was aware of the man wheeling her into place, putting on the brakes, lifting her up so her position was more comfortable etc. It felt strange to be watching it from the perspective of onlooker; a few years ago I would have been the wheelchair participant....equally kindly being manoevered and arranged into my place by my partner.
Secondly, on my other side was another elderly lady. She seemed quite popular; lots of people came up to her, pleased - and surprised - to see her. Apparently she'd had a knee operation recently. What fascinated me was the way in which she talked about her recent op and ongoing recovery. She briefly mentioned discomfort and very quickly moved on to talk about how delighted she was to be at the concert, and how every day it was getting better. She was an expert at filtering for useful information, and minimsing less useful information. She compeletely stepped into all the positives and neatly avoided stepping into anything less positive. If I was the sort of person who made predictions, I would predict she would make a speedy recovery!
First, the free ticket was for a prime position: five rows from the front, and dead centre. It's the row which you can walk infront of....and the row where wheelchair-users are given places, as the seats can be easily removed. There was a gap just beside me, and an elderly lady in a wheelchair, pushed by an elderly man arrived and took up position. I was aware of the man wheeling her into place, putting on the brakes, lifting her up so her position was more comfortable etc. It felt strange to be watching it from the perspective of onlooker; a few years ago I would have been the wheelchair participant....equally kindly being manoevered and arranged into my place by my partner.
Secondly, on my other side was another elderly lady. She seemed quite popular; lots of people came up to her, pleased - and surprised - to see her. Apparently she'd had a knee operation recently. What fascinated me was the way in which she talked about her recent op and ongoing recovery. She briefly mentioned discomfort and very quickly moved on to talk about how delighted she was to be at the concert, and how every day it was getting better. She was an expert at filtering for useful information, and minimsing less useful information. She compeletely stepped into all the positives and neatly avoided stepping into anything less positive. If I was the sort of person who made predictions, I would predict she would make a speedy recovery!
Saturday, 16 April 2011
Matilda's Story
Matilda is a 10yr old girl I worked with nearly a year ago. It was a delight to see her shake off Chronic Fatigue and come to life. I spoke to her once after she completed Lightning Process, and hadn't heard from her since then. I thought about her from time to time and wondered what she was up to. Last week I received this e-mail from her mother, who is happy for me to share it with you.
"Matilda is doing so brilliantly, we are all really impressed and very happy. Here are some of her achievements since the LP course:
"Matilda is doing so brilliantly, we are all really impressed and very happy. Here are some of her achievements since the LP course:
- Last week she completed a 7.5 mile sponsored walk for Comic Relief (we did actually train to run this cross country course but the teachers changed their mind about letting them run the day before).
- Matilda has completed her first half term with 100% attendance at school. Last term she only had two days off!
- At her new school they have 8 hours of PE and swimming a week and she has become incredibly fit. She has represented the school at Netball.
- She has taken up ballet again.
- Matilda has taken her grade 1 in piano.
- We have just dropped the use of all her Asthma inhalers as the sympotms have gradually disappeared over the last year.
The results have been fantastic and Matilda's life and ours has been transformed. She is very happy and I would strongly recommend Julia's LP course to anyone with ME; in fact I have already."
Great work from Matilda...and all her family!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)